Home was Nothing to Write Home About

Seriously, I played vidjuh games, hung out with friends and family, and ate. Big whoop. I won't be writing home about my time at home both because it wasn't exciting and because that would be redundant would be redundant would be redundant. Instead, you will have to deal with this out-of-context conversation excerpt for my apology concerning the missed posts. Buck up!

Dave: The point isn't to promote gay porn, Atticus.
Dave: The point is to give you a reason to sue the school for the cashmoney.
Atticus: Why dont you do it, Dave?
Dave: I don't go to [Atticus' school redacted].
Atticus: But the same rules would apply at your school
Dave: My latte-drinking libruhl elite education up here is far too tolerant for me to get away with a stunt like that.

So incredibly tired from the train ride.

-Dave

Trains, Trains, and Automotrains

I was on a train for over 9 hours today. First I went to Penn Station in New York City, and it was awesome. For 10 minutes I just sat there and listened to one ticket agent yelling at another ticket agent for yelling. He ended by saying, "Either get a megaphone, or shut up" and walked away looking quite upset. Whoops, it's a closed building and people are depending on the loudspeaker announcements to find the correct track. But yeah, that loud ticket lady probably needs a megaphone. Welcome to New York City. Kill yourself as soon as possible. Seriously, though, I loved being around the large crowds of people and the hustle/bustle.

The rest of the trip was spent in a weird half-awake half-asleep stupor listening to music. Now I'm sitting here at home. As far as I can tell, the only thing that's changed since my leaving is the addition of some shelves in the basement. Man, time has a way of changing things. Like shelves. Please plot shelves as a function of time and have your papers ready for me on Monday.

Oh yeah, and people who haven't seen me in 3 months say I appear to have lost weight. That's right, I'm losing weight. All the weight.

-Dave

Proof that there is a God

This is the ultimate evidence that God exists: Ann Coulter fell, broke her jaw, and her mouth is now wired shut. This is amazing! No long will the world be silenced by the sheer stupidity of that woman. No long will we have to endure her colorful phrases such as: "If we're so cruel to minorities, why do they keep coming here? Why aren't they sneaking across the Mexican border to make their way to the Taliban?" and "(Mel) Gibson didn't insert Jews into ("The Passion of the Christ") for some Machiavellian, racist reason. Christ was a Jew crucified by Romans at the request of other Jews in Jerusalem. I suppose if Gibson had moved the story to suburban Cleveland and portrayed Republican logging executives crucifying Christ, the left would calm down. But it simply didn't happen that way." Praise the Lord, there will be peace on the world for at least a few months.



BEHOLD MY PATHETIC MICROSOFT PAINT ABILITIES!!!

-Atticus

Some Things were Forgotten on Purpose #7

The numbering is all screwed up on these, I know. I'll fix them never probably.

Calm Down, the Comic Will be up in a Moment

You guys are really impatient, but I must spin you another yarn (it brings all the boys to the yard, blah blah blah pretend I made a joke).

So I walked into the building where the Physics office is a few minutes before going to my work-study (oh yeah, getting paid to workblog) and went to use the bathroom on the first floor. Because I'm good like that. There was a woman janitor standing in the entrance mopping the floor, so I said "Oh, sorry, I'll use a different bathroom." I'm courteous like that.

She responded, "No, it's fine, I'm almost done here." So I walked past her and almost made it to a urinal (eww) when she said, "And trust me, I've been married for 30 years. You ain't got nothin' I wanna see anymore."

First of all, even forgiving the grammar, I think it's a sad reflection on society when married couples can no longer feel that they can connect on a physical level, which probably only exacerbates any pre-existing marital problems they may have been having. Whoops, what I meant to say there was OH MY GOD SHUT UP YOU'RE SO GROSS!

I need to take a shower now. All the showers.

-Dave

Let me Spin you a Yarn, or Yarn you a Spin your...Yarn?

My yarn-spinning brings all the boys to the yard (as does my inability to make comprehensible post titles, apparently). Anyways, I was sitting in the Student Union getting ahead on some Chem. homework (oh yeah, I'm in college so I can use abbreviations like they're nothing. Deal with it, squares!) and this guy sat down at the same table as me to my left. I had my laptop out and plugged into the wall, and he pulled his out. I wasn't paying any attention to him at all until he went to plug in his laptop a few minutes later. That's when I noticed that he was watching what appeared to be a 12 year old boy/girl singing on American Idol. "Why didn't he notice that before?" you may be asking yourself. Because it was muted. He was watching a singing competition full-screen with the sound muted. Wow. I got up and left immediately (about 45 minutes later. You guys know how our Chem. homework is. By the way, what did you get for problem 4?). He was probably Chuck Manson's protege or something. College sucks because of that guy.

-Dave

Meh

Played Counter-Strike under the covers for most of today, and then worked on an essay for a while.

I've been watching some of the TED Talks on the YouTubes, and I highly recommend them if you're ready to have your mind blown. Here's a slightly less-than-mindblowing-but-still-interesting-and-mildly-amusing example about a guy who started a project to make modern art a little neater.

Nicely played sir, nicely played.

-Dave