Bill Nye, the Cross-Dressing Spanish-Speaking Science Guy

What else can I even say about this?


-Dave

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies....with Crap

Today will be dedicated to harassing, err I mean commenting on two news articles I found. And a warning to Svave to back off, this here be me territory.
1. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Yeah, I know copied what they suggested, but there isn't anything that can better compliment it. I'm sure we all have read and/or watched the atrocity that is Pride and Prejudice, and I'm sure you can all agree with me on that point. But this is going to be the best spoof book to ever come out. If I remember, I am going to get a copy of this book and give it to Ms. Harnish (for those of you who don't her, she is one of the most hateful, spiteful, feministic people out there, which makes sense because she is an english teacher). High fives all around to the concept of this book. When I read this, I more or less pissed myself, oh wait I didn't, but it was still epic. I can't wait.

2. The turd is bring us down - The crap is hitting the fan literally, in the form of useless garbage that people will buy once, use once, and forget about shortly thereafter. Our economy is suffering because Americans aren't buying all the useless crap they normally do. C'mon people, don't you need a "mechanized egg cracker" or a "plastic dragon candlestick?" I know that I sure as hell do....not.... but that doesn't mean you don't! Take your kid's college funds and buy an electric toaster that also makes smoothies, instead of paying your electric bill, why not go out and buy a phone that doubles as a can opener and water bottle all in one!?!?! C'MON PEOPLE!!!! DO IT!!! NOW!!! Not to mention a lot of decently important in the government are talking about the abuse of selling crap in the US.

-Atticus

More-Famous Friday Presents: The Other End of the Dance Spectrum

So, last Friday we took a look at someone who could dance better than all of us. I suppose it's only fitting that I now bring you someone whose dance moves (as well as disturbing lack of music, don't adjust your speakers) pale in comparison to the admittedly awkward gyrations of us here at TSC: this girl with the Nirvana t-shirt.

Now I know that society can sometimes be pretty harsh and exclusionary, so it feels good to write for a blog that is a beacon of acceptance in the net (ZOMG, a pun). Oh wait, this blog is to mocking what water is to rivers: the best! Nailed that metaphor.

-Dave

A Spoonful of Billy Mays Overdubs Makes the Medicine go Down

Now, normally I agree with the folks over at Videogum about pretty much everything they post. (Speaking of which, if you have never been to that site you need to go there now.) Today they posted an overdubbed video of Billy Mays selling Mighty Putty, that stuff that was used in the filming of Gumby. That video is available here.

Here's where the disagreement part comes in, though: it turns out that the person that posted this latest video has done a whole series of dubs of Billy Mays other products. Now, feel free to disagree with me, but I think that this Kaboom commercial really brings out the lulz a lot more than the Mighty Putty commercial. Oh, and just to be clear, this is definitely funny enough to qualify for the More-Famous Friday video, but it has been viewed way too many times. Enjoy it anyways, although I think things made all the way back in September of 2008 were all in black and white without any sound. At least that's how I remember it.

Oh yeah, and Kaboom might actually work, whereas the clay crap was shown to be total crap by my local news team. Oops, it's all over YouTube working fabulously. You be the decider (now that Dubya is no longer President).

-Dave

There aren't Enough Lolcat Pictures Related to Physics

It is 11:56 PM, and I just got back to my room. I was on campus for class at 9 AM. That crime against memanity aside, today was pretty good until the end. I was finishing up some physics homework and got to one of the most horrendous derivatives I have ever seen in my entire life. Now, normally derivatives are ridiculously easy for me, since I've been doing them for 4 years now. But this one was a beast, and I was Gandalf standing in front of it with my piddly little staff yelling about passing kidney stones. Wait. Maybe I don't remember that movie as well as I thought I did. Did Gandalf have kidney stones? What was I blogging about?

OH RIGHT, the derivative. Well, here's the thing guys: it was actually two partial derivatives that came about because the problem required the use of the gradient (yeah, the symbol makes you feel super smart when you write it, I know). It wouldn't have been as bad if both variables hadn't been in both terms under negative radicals and both been involved in an expandable phrase (they call it that in music, and I figure physics and music are basically the same thing). Yeah, it got pretty hairy. Then there were 2 more problems to do.

Basically, this was all I did for 15 hours:

(I'm too tired to bother put it into the Photobucket and too tired to put up a direct link. Maybe I'll fix it tomorrow, but don't count on it. Count on not-it.)

-Dave

Youtube Comments are Stupid Even to Non-Anglophones

Probably the worst part of this video is that she is absolutely right about the comments. And she gets a gold star for correctly using our (yeah, our) vocabulary word of the week correctly; I even had to look up the word "cacology". The only real flaw with this video is the fact that she wrote "viscous pronunciation" once, although that was pretty funny.

Oh yeah, and the other flaw was that the dog had guns (and seemed to be trying to escape, understandably). Stupid guns. Pretty much the only place where I could see her teaching would be ITT Technical Institute. And there's probably a joke in here somewhere about teacher-student sex scandals, but I think we can all agree that we'd be too busy helping the dog learn to shoot her to get involved in that kind of shenanigans.

-Dave

The Basil Represents a Life Bar: The Story of Dave

That would be a good title for my autobiography, except that I've already decided on using Captain's Log, Stardate WTF: The Story of Dave. Oh yeah, and they used it in this new episode of this series called The Guild or something. Whatever, Vork.

-Dave

This is the Con Wrap-Up Post

Stories from the Con:
1. While showing Lunar Legend Tsukihime, I wasn't paying much attention to what I was doing and just turned on the English subtitles. The episode then played with English speaking and English subtitles. The funny part? THEY DIDN'T EVEN MATCH UP! Ha! Throughout the whole episode, people were complaining about it, and at the conclusion of it this girl started yelling at me about how I was ruining the integrity of the series by not playing the show with the original Japanese voice actors. Integrity? Get over yourself, dear.

2. Before showing Elfen Lied, I was made to stand outside the auditorium and card people since it was a Mature rated series (and with good reason). Only 4 or 5 people came in, all of whom were clearly over 18. Then a girl who looked like she was 16 came up to me, and the following conversation ensued:
Me: Hey, we're showing a Mature rated show in here, so I have to see your ID. Or, if you just have a student ID that would be fine too.
Her: Well, I don't go to school here. I'm still in high school, but I have my driver's license. Is that good?
Me: Yeah, that's fine.
Her: (searching through bag) Here ya go.
Me: (seeing that she's only 16) Uh, I'm sorry but I can't let you go in. You have to be 18 or older since it's got a Mature rating.
Her: Oh, okay then. (starts walking away, then turns around and gets way too close to my face and whispers into my ear creepily while touching my arm) Are you sure?
Me: Uh...yeah, sorry (turn around and walk inside, giving her the perfect opportunity to sneak in, which she failed to take).

Now, I still have not been able to decide whether this was meant to imply that sexual favors would be used to try to sway more or to imply that she was threatening me. I find both possibilities disturbing.

3. After showing the DVD with the first 4 episodes of Elfen Lied on it, I put in the next scheduled DVD a few minutes ahead of schedule. Was it my fault that the scheduling was off by a little bit? Yeah, apparently it was, as I had to endure a full minute or two of ranting from angry fans about why I should play more episodes. The ones which weren't on the DVD I had. You know, the magic ones.

In summary, three things happened:
1. I trolled a room full of anime fans.
2. I still hate teenage girls.
3. I got trolled by a few anime fans.

I got in free and spent the weekend watching anime, so I'd call that a victory overall. Oh yeah, and there was a girl dressed as a "slutty nun" playing Yu-Gi-Oh.

-Dave

This is Not the Con Wrap-Up Post

That will be up tomorrow, as I need a bit of time to transcribe the stories from my mind onto paper (yeah, my computer screen is paper, so sue me) so as to make them as comprehensible as possible. And I'll let you in on a little secret-and trust me, considering our traffic stats, this might as well be considered secret between you and me alone-I did a little bit of trolling. But more on that tomorrow.

This post is going to be a review of 2 anime series; there will be spoilers. One of the series I was in charge of running at the Con was Lunar Legend Tsukihime. This guy Shiki Tohno finds a vampire walking around during the day and epic murders her with his puny little knife. He then wakes up back at his sister's gigantic mansion, she's the heir to the family blah blah blah. I hated every time she was on screen except for the part when I thought she was going to die.

Turns out the vampire lady is still alive and she wants his help to kill some vampires from a rival faction with his ability to see lines that destroy things; that's really all the more I can say about it, as it was pretty unclear. Basically, he cuts the lines with his knife and the thing gets destroyed (call me old fashioned, but doesn't anything get destroyed when you stab it with a knife? Whatevs.).

The characters all seemed to have split personalities, and they constantly wavered back and forth between ridiculous affection towards someone and borderline hatred. Various questions about the mechanisms of the show go unexplained, such as the lines, WTF the Church had to do with anything, the Tohno bloodline thing (a plot element which was conveniently introduced way too late in the series), and why Arcueid (who Shiki always called Aruceid-what?) had to be killed twice before finally disappearing while the other vampires disappeared after death number 1. The characters were frustratingly stupid, and were certain to keep secrets from one another which inevitably came back to get them later on in the story. Overall, though, it was mildly entertaining despite my urge to throw my laptop across the room at some of their decisions.

Wow, I was gonna review Elfen Lied too, but that review took up enough space as it is. Perhaps I'll start doing an anime feature now. That could work. I'll probably do it once a week since I do have a little bit of a life (read: I have no life other than classes) outside of watching anime, but I do watch a lot. Cool beans. No, the coolest beans. Evar.

-Dave

Big Fat Convention Face

There's an anime/video game convention on campus, and I've been out volunteering at it. Don't worry, I don't care about it that much, but I get in for free if I volunteer enough. By "volunteer," I mean I sat in a room for a few hours and watched anime. Which is what I was going to do yesterday anyways. Really, that's what college is all about; if you sit around and do nothing special for along enough time, you can get stuff for free.

Wait, wasn't I supposed to post a video? Oh, right, here's this childhood killer:



-Dave

Greasy Lake and A.D.D. FTW!!!!

So, for my English Composition class, I have to write an essay "of the creative imagination" for this short story called "Greasy Lake" by T. C. Boyle. Now, the story itself is amusing in and of itself. In a nutshell for those of you too lazy to go to a library (a library??? what's that?!?!?! roflroflroflroflroflrofl)3 hard-ass 19 year olds (hmm...sound familiar) go up to a dirty lake, get the snot kicked out of them, almost kill the guy who beats them up, finds a dead body, and their lives are changed. Now, I know some of you are thinking "That story sounds stupid. har heh har," well, it isn't terrible. Imagine sticking a rapid mongoose and Mort from Family Guy inside a cardboard box with a slice of cheese.... Right, so anyway this essay is only going to be worth 50 points out of the 932 points altogether in the class. Why 932? Who knows. Inspector Gadget might, but really Robocop doesn't stand a chance. So who'd da thunk this essay is inconvenient to write about? My professor, which all of you are fully aware of, told us to "write a strong defense for a topic of your liking," for Monday, but the essay itself is due Friday. I'm not sure about how you people out in there in magical Pixie-land would be able to conjure an essay and revise it within 2 days, but I sure as heck can't. Call me special, but I'll call you on your bluff. It is then when we will see who finds the pot of gold.




Oh, and svave, you are going down.

-Atticus

Owning a PS3 and a nice sound system makes you a terroritst

Terrorists at work. I think sending out a SWAT team may have been a bit... much. I mean, I can understand the whole situation of "I hear bullets, I should call the police." But... if you were hearing that coming from one room next to yours I wouldn't imagine it to be a whole organization of turrists at work. I would assume it was two guys shooting at each other and missing a lot because they're near the end of their story and one of them must die. I kind of got off topic, but eh, it's ridiculous!

-Alex

More-Famous Friday: America's Next Top Diva

This guy is way more diva (divaer?), and way better at dancing, than everyone involved with this blog. And I can say that with confidence. And so, it is with great jealousy that we present this video:


Now, I haven't heard this song before (and I don't follow popular music at all), but what is wrong with that robotic "I'muh I'muh a diva" voice? Is that the new "gay"? No, "deafening" is definitely the new "gay". Either way, that voice is the Gigle of voices. Whoa, sorry for that gale-force pop culture reference.

-Dave

Kurt Vonnegut is the Manager at My Office

Two things happened today that made me think that the universe was designed by the esteemed author and known scowler.

Situation 1-I was going through the mail at work and found a large group of envelopes rubber-banded together, and all of them were empty. One of the secretaries said that they had asked for more empty envelopes because they ran out this week, so I handed them to her. Then she said to me, "You can't win 'em all" and left the room. I'm not sure I've ever laughed harder at a seemingly innocuous situation before in my life. Tim and Eric could not have planned a better absurdist situation (well, maybe a poop joke could've been inserted-can't wait for season 4!).

Situation 2-
Besides being a somewhat creepy, as all old videos surely are, who picked that music? Dear 1960s: it's a slow motion video of a guy popping a balloon, not a Rat Pack concert. Was that the music of the Rat Pack? Probably not. Too late, joke's over.

-Dave

The Internet is These Dead Guys

Seriously. I know there was a new Zero Punctuation review of Far Cry 2 out today, and yeah Videogum put up the new Chi City video, but it all feels so...empty. Having played Far Cry 2 for a little over Christmas break (oops, I meant Winter break-don't oppress me!), and so I knew what to expect from Yahtzee. Chi City, another vagina panties, that was not.

Now don't get me wrong, I've prayed at the altar of the internet many times before for fulfillment.
Don't worry, I'm not about to go afk for good. Internet, you let me down today. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. And mad. Pick up your game or I will turn this blog around (into a blog about Kazaam)!

-Dave

Your Interest in What I'm Talking About is Moderate to High

The server is down, and the guild is scrambling to fill the void in their lives.
Watch it here.

There is a reason that this is a ridiculously popular web series, especially among nerds. That reason? It's hilarious. Oh yeah, and there's a 9/11 joke.

-Dave

Horrifying Picture Content

So I'm starting up a new thing for myself aside from my usual search for Youtube Glory because videos aren't everyhing.

It's time for a test, class. Is this man:
a.) The devil in Hell
b.) One of the guys from Deliverance
c.) Two-time Poet Laureate of the United States Billy Collins
d.) The devil

While the read background might confuse you into thinking a or d, the devil doesn't wear clothes like that. b is the plausible distractor, as he looks like most of the people in the movie Deliverance. In fact, that picture is of William "Billy" Collins, Poet Laureate of the United States from 2001-2003 and New York State Poet for 2004. Wait, we're in a recession and there are state poets?

I found his horrifying picture here, at the Library of Congress' website for the Poetry 180 program, which provides a collection of 180 poems for each day of the school year.

I would unread every poem I've even remotely enjoyed if it would mean the destruction of this picture.

-Dave

Wanna See my Butt? Check it out, it Talks!

Perfect way to end the three day weekend.

-Dave

DeviantArt never lets me down.

1. Atticus, I'll fight you. Fo' real.

2. Yet another sin against the art gods.

This time while searching (I didn't have to search) for bad art on DeviantArt.com I had a hard time picking which piece to use.
This came in second place.

And here's your winner (or loser depending on how you look at it). (Actually, they're definitely a loser here)




Now this little monstrosity was chosen because of the "artist's" comment.

Artist's Comments
My second commission from Crimian on Gaia.

It was a commission.

The second one the "artist" made for the person.

Someone...paid....for something like this?

Twice?!

Sweet zombie Jesus tap dancing on a bear! What in the hell could possibly make a person find a work such as the above at a high enough quality to warrant a payment? The maker of that piece obviously has no idea how cloth behaves or the proper proportions of the human figure.

It's hard to tell if this person was trying to use a bastardized attempt at anime or they actually believe this is how a person looks.

There's no chest, not waist, no ass. Just a tube-ish area where these things should be. The free hand looks like a fourth grader made it and taped it onto the already bad pictures.

I took me a while to find the nose and mouth. Looks like someone doesn't know what the word shading means. Both nose and mouth appear to slant even further into the subject's face causing the poor thing to look like it has no chin. (That's right, I referred to it as a thing. I honestly can't tell if it's supposed to be male for female.)

The hair isn't too too bad. It just has edges that are a little too clean cut.

Did I mention that this piece looks like all the characters from Naruto combined? (The creative abounds, doesn't it?)

I'm too tried to critic anymore tonight despite how easy this was. (fuck grammar)


3. Really Atticus. I'm calling you out.

-Svàva

Tacos n' Xboxes

You see that kid up there? Yeah it's kind of confusing but I think it goes something like this, the kid won't come eat tacos that his mom made, mom unplugs Xbox, tacos go flying. Then the mom presses charges on her own son! Isn't that nice? Also he called her a bad name. I honestly don't know what to think of this.

-Alex

Alice Cooper and the Muppets

My childhood has been officially destroyed. Well, at least what little the furries hadn't already destroyed.


-Dave

ShootingAxing Goldfish in a BarrelBowl

The video was called "Jesus=Spiderman," so sue me.


Killing Christians always brings the lulz. Plus, they're jerks.

-Dave

To Harass or Not to Harass, That is the Question

1. Svave has to be one of the most ridiculous alias's I have ever heard. Seriously, just deafening. The rest of the gang of this deafening blog doesn't have names that make you want to drown in a pit of moldy mayonnaise. Svave sounds like a hurricane gone deafeningly wrong. Serial, go get another name or go jump off a cliff or whatnot.

2. Why, people I ask you, why did that plane fall into the Hudson River? The news say it was a bird or two that got caught in the plane's engines. All I have to say is those birds must have been made of freaking platinum to take down multi-ton planes. Now that I think about the deafening accident, it was a battle of the birds...

3. Why is the air temperature so freaking cold? It is -2 outside and my car almost didn't start yesterday. At college, my friend went outside with wet hair and his hair started to freeze in its place. I wish I would've taken a picture, but this is what I'm guessing it would look like if I did. Well, maybe not with such beauty, but more or less. So go get a blanket, grab an egg and wait out this deafening cold snap. Why the egg, you ask? You'll find out.

-Atticus

A Very Appropriate More-Famous Friday

Not only was this video trippy, well-drawn, and hilarious, but it's about a sandwich. It made it to #26 in the weekly ratings on Newgrounds, but deserves to be much higher than that, IMHO. Do you like that I'm using more links?

-Dave

Darwin's Theory of EvoLOLtion

My Biology professor set up a chat room online during our class today to allow people to ask him questions directly, since there are over 100 people in my section. Now, I don't know how they used to make teenagers, but this professor really needs to meet the youth of today. This was my favoritemost horrifying excerpt from the chat logs:

Boy Moron 1 > did he just say suckle?
Boy Moron 2 > on breasts
Boy Moron 3 > ya
Girl Moron 1 > lmao yo
Girl Moron 1 > u guys need to get laid
Boy Moron 4 > well, they're both mammals, after all
Boy Moron 1 > i dont want the beastly girls here
Girl Moron 2 > HEY!
Boy Moron 5 > lol
? Moron 1 > “Girl Moron 1” i think i see you........ id hit that !
Girl Moron 1 > lol naw “Boy Moron 1” u wit me
Girl Moron 2 > some of us aren't that bad
Girl Moron 1 > “? Moron 1” ima cut u
Boy Moron 6> the fact that you classify yourself as beastly.... oh boy

Wow. That was, like, totally deafening (it'll catch on, just you wait). I'm sorry if that was hard to follow, but I had to remove their real names in case they ever want to get jobs in the future (or not be killed by an angry mob). JK. It was even hard for me to follow with their names in it. Parents, make sure that tuition check is in the mail! Who uses mail to pay for things as large as tuition anymore? I was born in 1908.

-Dave

This is now the Serious Collective

If there's one thing I've learned during my time as a blogger (I have not learned anything), it is that the internet is serious business. How serious? More serious than the background in this pictre of an effeminate Japanese man (Olympian?) is extreme. Nailed that short metaphor. I know, it's part of my job in the Changerition team.

But there is one thing more serious than internet: piracy. And to that end, we all need to raise our glass to Mininova, the site which replaced our beloved Suprnova 4 years ago today (via TorrentFreak). Congratulations on your 4th birthday, Mininova, and we wish you many more in the future.

Tomorrow I will return to the regular schedule of jokes about killing tweens, how lame I am, and wondering what he is doing with my Thousand Island.

-Dave

I'm Bringin' 2006-y Back

5.5 million views, only one of which is mine. I don't know why I was not told about this long ago, but whoever's job it was to inform me is going in a corner. With Baby. It is the time for old jokes like that, since this is from 2006/forever ago. Oh wait, I think my grandchildren are back. I'm going to explain to them what a CD did.

Get off my lawn.

-Dave

Sometimes Little Girls with Parkinson's Need to be Slapped

But at least, like you guys, she, like, knows what she wants and, umm, yeah, umm, so yeah, so...


If you don't do drugs or have ADD, you should probably get your trigger finger off of the keyboard long enough to train it to use guns which are pointed at you. I am Changeretary of the Blogmerican Department of Short Metaphors, I know.

That aside...what? What is this self-important tweenaged Amy-Winehouse-on-an-emo-binge blabbering on about? Pictures? She's not a troll? Stop the presses, you guys (I know you just got them rolling, but trust me), she hasn't worn makeup in a while. Why did this video need to be made? And why is it specifically addressed to "everywun"?

I would drown this child.

-Dave

A day in Youtube comments

Woo, I've decided everyone once in awhile to suffer going through the idiocy of finding dumb Youtube comments. Awesome.



1. shut up about kurts death yeah he was a junky he was not evan scared to say it on national tv so i think he new he was a coocain user and he shot hiself so shut up about it and enjoy his music and dont blame him for all the goths that were black and get high!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oAF3UdSJ1k
Screw you black goths that are high. Also I looked at the user's profile, and I have to call bull crap on them being 17. Or they're just "special".

2.wtf he didnt even show up
3.celebrate do whatever you want to do

but please stop killing children
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iwsf5rL48hs
Both from the same video, but the first one more so being, how can someone still not know Heath is frickin' dead? I don't think I can find anyone who doesn't know that. The second one, leaving me very confused, but you know what you need to do.

4.oh and by the way goku does never say i cant do this, or thinks he cant,, he always says ill try, or i can beat him!! movie failed!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-4IR1AiU2c
This is the reason the movie is going to bomb. This and only this.

5.[[]yAlL sLoW AsZ fUcK niGgA ItZ JuZ A SOnG WaT dA FuQ nAnD If yal wAnNa cLoWn oN BlAcK PePoLe mUSiC yAlL NeEd tO WoRrY BoUt yAlL PEpZ aLl dEy sOnGz b bOuT Iz cUtTiNg yO SeLf aNd CeAcK AnD ShIt lYk dAt nIgGa gEt Ya pUzzI RiTe
www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7tEtWUfUkY">
I have no idea.

-Alex

Yet another blogger for this?! Jesus, are they really that lazy?

Yep, Dave and Atticus went on and got someone else to take up room here on the internet. I'll be going by Svàva here (fuck, dude, an accent mark? that's a bit much, what is she going to write about art?) Actually, yes I am. More importantly, I will be making fun of bad art. Really bad art.(Crowd cheers!)

So let's begin, shall we?



Vampire Twilight anime fan art with horrible poetry.

Almost too easy, isn't it?

Artist's Comments
Poem Snippets by daisy Wong.
Vampires Kiss, Turning Her Into A New Born.
I Drew This Once reading Twilight,
I Am NOT A Crazed Fan Girl.
Edward Cullen Is Gross.
Jasper Hale Is The Sex.

OOoooohhhh...so you didn't even write the poetry yourself? You stole it? Why didn't you steal something, you know, better? Watch someone gasp, Mouth 'The Dies', Read Her Mourning, Feel Her Pain? The only small bit that even comes close to making any sense is "Watch someone gasp". Makes a bit of sense, it also sounds like a shitty high school metalcore band's rejected lyrics. Trust me, I know a good many of them.

Now onto the next part of the 'artist' comment on her work. Making fan art makes you a fan girl, referring to a fictional character as "the Sex" makes you a crazed fan girl. Drawing that makes you a crazed fan girl with no artistic skills. Doll, you couldn't even master coloring in the lines.

What's pretty sad is that your friends/family/schoolmates/voices in your head probably tell you this is pretty good. That you have some talent.

They're lying to you.

-Svàva

Captain's Log, Stardate: WTF

Hello class, I trust you all enjoyed the break. Now it is time to get some serious learning done. Today we will be discussing 4 very important things which I was only taught Saturday.

Lesson 1: Working for Amtrak is less stressful than running a summer fitness camp.

While I know most of you were under the impression that running a summer fitness camp is less stressful than working for Amtrak (and who wouldn't be?), this is not the case according to the stewardess (conductress? I dunno what the people on trains are called.) on one of my trains. She discussed in detail how the fitness camp had taken away all of her personal time and then went on to explain how much fun it was to travel around on trains. I'm sure you all heard her lecture, though, and I would hope that you will all go out and buy her book Choo Choo: How I Escaped Stress and Found Inner Peace. Your oral reports will be due at the end of the semester.

Lesson 2: Saturday was Brittany's birthday.

Of course we all knew the Brittany was turning () years old on Saturday, but the crazy guy at Penn Station in New York singing it repeatedly into his microphone attached to a mini-amp didn't hurt either. Brittany, we offer our congratulations and hope that the crazy guy's song made up for the lack of gifts and cake.

Lesson 3: Some Russians are very soulful.

My taxi driver back to campus was named Ivan, and man did Ivan love to sing R & B music. He tuned in (I'm 107 years old, I know) to the R & B station, cranked the volume, and sang throughout the whole trip. Normally I would make fun of something this absurd, but he was actually really good and, I'm not gonna lie, I was tapping my foot towards the end. I wanted to share one song with you that he particularly enjoyed (please, imagine a Russian man singing along; it adds to the experience).


Lesson 4: Moose Vader Roolz

This was brought to my attention by some graffiti I saw while leaving Philadelphia, and I'm not sure it requires any further explanation. Moose Vader, who apparently has a Facebook page here, does indeed rool.



-Dave

I'm Back

This would've been last week's MFF video, but I...here it is:


Other things which are comparable to calling bad things "gay":
That's so...
...wood varnish on plastic.
...using a laptop as a weapon.
...pulling on someone's earring with a powerful magnet.
...deafening.

The trip back to school was weird and educational, and I'll have a detailed post about it up tomorrow.

-Dave

Thus Ends The Week

I just finished my first week of the new semester and I have a few comments to make... First off, why is it that every chemistry teacher I have can not teach? Only after four classes with my new chem professor do I realize that it would be more advantageous to me to skip class and read the book instead of listening to his lectures. Well, the term 'lectures' will be used loosely here (kinda like your mom last night)(hey oh!) as he puts up questions on his powerpoint and without answering them moves onto the next slide. Load of nonsense.
Next complaint: my English composition 2 professor is a complete and utter dirty old so and so... He stands in front of the classroom, makes fun of my school and its administration, rants about the conservatism of the governement, and swears like a sailor or roids (if you drink Powerthirst energy drink, you know the feeling*). On top of all this bull crap, he will decide to pick out one random student and embarrass them to the point of almost tears. He reminds me of what Dave would turn into if Dave was an English teacher. I'm undecided on if this class will be interesting or just annoying.
As the rest of my classes go, they are the basic class with the basic teacher and the boring crap that is involved with all that. So now I will sit here staring at the bright light I see due to my taking of a picture for this here website-jigger-thingy-mabobber.
**
POWERTHIRST

-Atticus

My Triumphant Return is Not a Tropic Thunder Sequel

This exists:


As much as you may think it is, and as much as I thought it was supposed to be a comedy, it isn't. This aberration would normally not even show up on my radar as being worthy of mockery except that it was the third most pirated movie during the preceding week, according to TorrentFreak.

Don't get me wrong, I am completely in favor of piracy as a general policy. Except in this case. Should you pay to see this movie? Absolutely not. Should you waste your bandwidth and give the producers the idea that they are perhaps not guilty of crimes against humanity? No. Shame on you, pirates.

It's good to have me back. Hopefully at least one other writer will be joining us before I leave again for New York on Saturday.

-Dave

I have no clue if I hate or like these teachers

I know I said I was going to focus more so on video games, but eh, we all can do a little bit of other stuff right? Well screw it, I'm going to. Unlike the other two I'm not in college, so I'm still stuck in High School. It's terrible. (As you should already know.) But I've noticed how all the teachers are here. They don't care about anything you really do. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing? I can't decide. It's nice to know they finally gave up and are willing to just let you go ahead and do anything, but what I just witnessed seemed a bit too much. It went something like this:

(After someone was around 10 minutes late to the class)
"Where have you been?"
"I was talking to a teacher."
"What teacher?"
"A teacher you don't know."
(Teacher now stops caring it seems)

...
Seriously? Is this really what they've come to? I really wish the teacher didn't have the mind of an idiot or that could've have been the best thing I've seen in awhile. I mean saying something as stupid as "A teacher you don't know" should result it the teacher making fun of you. That didn't happen, leaving me very dissappointed.

Also, I've decided I hate these teachers.

-Alex

Open Your Mouth and Say HOLY SHIT

Remember that jingle "I went down down down to the burning ring of fire"? Well, this puts that phrase into retrospect.

What is that you may ask? Well, lets read what the article describes about it: "In 1971 a search for gas went wrong when a whole drilling rig fell into an underground cavern. Natural gas started coming up from the hole. It was set alight so it wouldn't kill everything around. For 35 years now the flames keep burning providing an spectacular seen for tourists. At night the burning gas makes the crater seen from miles away. The crater is located in Turkmenistan in the heart of the Karakum desert. The crater is called Darvaza or The Burning Gates." (link)
So, the burning gates? I wonder what is done there....

Hot damn! (no pun intended)(actually, that pun is intended)(dumbasses). It looks like the beginnings of hell. Well, at least we all know where we are going, or at least those who avidly contribute and/or read this blog. To top it off, here is a video of the entire length of the hell-hole.

-Atticus

What's this, a brand new writer guy thing?

There's not much I can say, right?

I'm the new guy, you can call me Alex. I plan on writing stuff on those vidja games kids play, and I guess I could show a few things I do with Photoshop.

The first thing I guess I'll attempt to talk about is names I find on online communities. Why do people have the need to make such unoriginal names? I'm so sick of fighting xXur420mom69Xx. Also, are people stuck in the early 2000's and think tYpInG lIkE tHiS iS cOoL?

However, I do have to say "The Mad Fapper" is one of my new favorite names I've seen recently, so not all of it is that bad.

-Alex