BBT and HIMYM Episode 2: Lovers' Quarrels Galore

This week's How I Met Your Mother was definitely the weaker of the two shows, although I think I might be inherently biased towards The Big Bang Theory because of how big of a loser I is. Lazy pirate summaries after the jump:

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Lazy Pirate Summary: BBT and HIMYM Season Premieres

episode starts explaining barney and robin's apparent friends-with-benefits relationship
amusing anecdote involving a whip and a fedora
they pretend to leave to go on separate dates, but are discovered making out in ted's apartment
whenever they try to decide how they feel about each other, they end up having sex
ted's first day as a professor at columbia
"you're not happy, you just think you're happy because you feel happy"
barney gets jealous when robin's friend brad invites her to a hockey game
brad tells robin to have the talk
marshall tells barney to have the talk
ted says barney violated his own rules to avoid making someone their g/f, so robin is already his g/f
barney interrupts robin and brad's kiss by punching brad and then recoiling in pain
"that's my thing, i'm always punching guys...girls...i'll punch a baby, i don't care"
ted forgets how to spell professor
lilly and marshal lock robin and barney in a room in ted's apartment to make them have the talk
ted finds out he is in the wrong room
"t dog, you're in the wrong room, bro"
marshall raises the stakes by blowing the scent of bacon into the room
to get out of the room, barney and robin decide to lie about being b/f and g/f
episode ends with marshall having his own tuxedo night

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They Finally Explained the Goat!

How I Met Your Mother season finale!

-Dave