episode starts explaining barney and robin's apparent friends-with-benefits relationship
amusing anecdote involving a whip and a fedora
they pretend to leave to go on separate dates, but are discovered making out in ted's apartment
whenever they try to decide how they feel about each other, they end up having sex
ted's first day as a professor at columbia
"you're not happy, you just think you're happy because you feel happy"
barney gets jealous when robin's friend brad invites her to a hockey game
brad tells robin to have the talk
marshall tells barney to have the talk
ted says barney violated his own rules to avoid making someone their g/f, so robin is already his g/f
barney interrupts robin and brad's kiss by punching brad and then recoiling in pain
"that's my thing, i'm always punching guys...girls...i'll punch a baby, i don't care"
ted forgets how to spell professor
lilly and marshal lock robin and barney in a room in ted's apartment to make them have the talk
ted finds out he is in the wrong room
"t dog, you're in the wrong room, bro"
marshall raises the stakes by blowing the scent of bacon into the room
to get out of the room, barney and robin decide to lie about being b/f and g/f
episode ends with marshall having his own tuxedo night
everyone makes it back safely from the arctic with crazy hair and beards (sheldon's hair is normal, and he just has a goatee)
penny kisses leonard when she sees him, then drags him into her apartment
sheldon is thrilled that he detected magnetic monopoles, but wolowitz admits it was b/c of an electric can-opener
"damn his vulcan hearing" x 2
sheldon sent a bragging e-mail to everyone at the university showing that he does, in fact, believe it's a big deal
"really? did you have the nobel prize in waitressing stolen from you?"
"while i do not currently have a scathing retort, you check your e-mail periodically for a doozie"
leonard gives penny a preserved snowflake, and their makeout gets interrupted by the news that sheldon ran away home to texas
sheldon's mother is super-religious and racist...shocking for someone from texas
but she does get wolowitz to take off his silly hat and stop faking the accent
sheldon leaves abruptly after his mother reveals that she is a creationist
leonard and penny end up having sex, then try to figure out how to make it not "weird", but then decide it's weird
...where have we heard this before (barney and robin, much?)
It looks like indecisive hooking up is the new go-to plot device. Whoops, I don't know how I feel about you, but let's not let things get complicated!
Parks & Recreation and Bored to Death season premieres will be up tomorrow.
-Dave
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