I Got the Scoop on Adult Swim

That's right. You know that new show on Adult Swim, The Might Boosh? Yeah, I've been watching that for over a year ever since I first saw it on BBC America. It is easily the craziest, cleverest, most interesting sketch comedy show that I have seen to date. SNL this is not (you know, because it's always funny). No, this is much closer to Monty Python but with a story arc throughout the whole episode and an always-extravagant musical performance. Oh, and their characters are some of the most memorable ones from any television show. My favorite is The Hitcher:



In short, you need to be watching this show. If you don't like it, don't ever speak to me. Here's the first episode on Adult Swim.

-Dave

Sometimes I Feel Extreme

Dave: DO IT!
Dave: I DARE YOU!
Atticus: Do what?
Dave: IT!
Atticus: It?
Dave: Don't try to contain my creativity in your box.
Dave: YOU COULDN'T BOX THIS IF YOU WANTED TO.
Dave: Oh my.
Atticus: Dave, don't explode.
Dave: We have fun.
Atticus: Sure.
Dave: Or at least I do.

Oh man, I am going to raid the library so hard tomorrow. They have, like, books! So many books I want to read.

-Dave

You Caught me at my Day Job

Notice my gigantic leather-bound book and mismatched shoes.

The book isn't a Bibble, if you were wondering. It's a copy of Don Quixote. Do you guys mind if I submit this blog as my thesis for my PhD. in Spanish Literature and Lulz?

-Dave

Is "Pwned" No Longer a Video Destroyer?

See, it used to be that any video which prominently featured the use of the word "pwned" was really just trying to put a band-aid of hip internet speak over the massive cut of mediocrity. Now, despite the fact that I apparently now write for Grey's Anatomy (what with the medical jargon and all), it appears that a genuinely mildly amusing video has emerged despite its use of the word "pwned".



You guys, I think we made it through the darkest part of the night. That is to say, the night of "pwned" making videos unfunny. Darkness. You know how the internet is.

-Dave

More-Famous Friday: The Safe Word is "Playground"

Yeah, it's Videogum Gabe. So sue me.



-Dave

I Hate Bloggergies

For some reason, my allergies have really been flaring up badly for the last few days. Or maybe it's just that I found out that Crank 2 is coming out.



My goodness that's a lot of extreme camerawork. I guess we know where those ridiculousvisionary camera operators from the Matrix trilogy are working now.

Of course, the thing that we all seem to be over is WHAT? Crank 2? The UN considered renaming Crimes Against Humanity to Cranks Against Humanity after the first one nearly took over all of Europe before being defeated at Waterloo. And now, the cast and crew of Crank have escaped their exile to Elba to menace the world once again.

The world really is shrinking.

-Dave

If I Survive this Test, it Probably Won't be Funny Even in Retrospect

Physics test tomorrow as I mentioned yesterday, so this is going to be brief. Let's play a little game to cheer me up. It goes like this: every time George Carlin says a name derogatorily, replace it with "Maxwell", "Faraday", or "Ampere".



Yeah, screw those guys!

-Dave

I Have Died of Cholera

Dave: Hence the name "dis-ease".
Dave: Otherwise they would just call it "ease".
Atticus: You, sir, are a smart-alac.
Dave: I like how you say "smart-alac".
Dave: It's so folksy.
Atticus: Ha, I say "alac" instead of the more slang curse word.
Dave: It makes me feel like a pioneer.
Atticus: I'm glad you are having fun, Dave.

And I was having fun. Tomorrow's post will be either very short or very lazy, because I have two tests on Thursday. Then back to classic video game references and making Atticus mad on Friday. Go college!

-Dave

Screw the Past, Beards Rule

ZZ Top needs to burn that office building down while playing guitar solos.

-Dave

This is College

Two things showed me the essence of what college is really about today. The first is that I spent all day watching online lectures from the MIT OpenCourseWare Project for Electricty and Magnetism, which is basically the same as the physics class I'm currently in. They are pretty entertaining and surprisingly informative considering that they're free, and I seriously recommend you watch some of them if you're interested in physics.

But wait, this isn't The Serious Collective. Or is it? No, it definitely isn't. The other side of college, the one in which I do not participate, is the social side. Drinking, dancing, random hookups; you know, the kind of stuff that makes you think "Hey, that person must be working towards a degree of some sort." While reading F My Life, a site which is basically an internet documentary of this side of college, I happened upon this gem:

Today, when my crush dropped me off after a night of partying and hooking up, I realized I wasn't wearing my thong. Suddenly, I had a vivid flashback from the night before of major explosive diarrhea...with no toilet paper at the frat house. I'd left my dirty thong there. He won't text me back.

How much was tuition, again?

-Dave

YouTube Ruins the Sun

So I'm a little late on tonight's post, but that's because we had a group of about 40 people up at the observatory earlier and everything went way late. We did the normal observing things (ooh, ah, Saturn!), and by the end we were just watching videos of solar flares. Solar flares are pretty sweet, and here is the coolest video we could find of one. It's a composite video of video taken by SOHO in 2003:



Pretty cool, right? Yeah. Then I saw this:


Yes, DjKid91, that is indeed the sun. You guys, the sun has been officially ruined for me now.

-Dave

More-Famous Friday: The Internet Needs to Love Michael Cera More

Less than 30,000 views? Are you serious, internet? We need to talk soon.

As for Michael Cera, I still only say to you:



And I'm serious about that. This movie had better be as Mel Brooksy as it looks.

-Dave

Chuck Manson and a Guy Chack Manson Should Meet

Charles Manson is looking really bad lately, according to this photo comparison from the LA Times:



Yikes! Remember kids, tattoos and facial carvings that look cool young end up looking dumb when you're old and have been in prison since the 1970s for murder. You know, kid stuff.

As for the guy that the famed Mr. Manson should meet? His name is Katsuji Murata. I found out about him while randomly surfing Wikipedia, the hole into which much of my free time falls. Let me just quote the article:

On December 8, 1963, while partying in a Tokyo nightclub, Rikidōzan was stabbed with a urine-soaked blade by gangster Katsuji Murata

On December 8, 1963, while partying in a Tokyo nightclub, Rikidōzan was stabbed with a urine-soaked blade by gangster Katsuji Murata.

Rikidōzan was stabbed with a urine-soaked blade by gangster Katsuji Murata

Rikidōzan was stabbed with a urine-soaked blade

with a urine-soaked blade

a urine-soaked blade

That's really all that I can think to say about it. Oh, and perhaps somebody mistook the blade for a pregnancy test.

-Dave

I am not dead, and here's an album review

I know, I haven't put anything on here for... I don't know how long, however, I told Dave I'd review the new Fallout Boy CD "Folie à Deux."

I was planning on dissecting every song. I listened to the first song "Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes." I decided that it was so bad that it would take time and endurance to listen to the rest of the songs. Here I am two months later, I have yet to listen to any other song on the album and have come to this conclusion. This album may be the worst thing I have ever (not) listened to. I've heard a few other Fall Out Boy songs just from the radio and them guitar vidja games. They all sound exactly the same, the singers voice couldn't be any more annoying either. I'm just going to end it all here and I have this to say to Fall Out Boy, shut up, you're famous, stop complaining.

-Alex

Who Will Shutup the Shutpmen?

Everybody needs to stop talking about Watchmen now, especially the people I go to school with (no grammar Nazism, because I'm trying to sound populist). Torches and pitchforks and whatnot. Now enjoy this video from Everything is Terrible:



Oh yeah, and I came up with a good bit of Sandwich Collective's patented logic today:
I think therefore I am.
I am what I eat.
Therefore all of my food is conscious.

Somebody owes me a PhD.

-Dave

Sometimes Christians are Funny

I read my Bibble every night so as to keep up with that crazy Jeebus and his however-many-he-has Diskipples. I think that my grammar Naziism makes it clear who I am here:



-Dave

We Need to Start Watching Dateline, You Guys

This video has been burning up my internets today, and it is just perfect.



Fake Keith Morrison is definitely better than Jim Morrison ever was. That's right, you heard it here first: The Doors suck. Always have, always will.

-Dave

Hitler Says the Darndest Things

Someone took the time to dub over Hitler's infamous freak out from Downfall as him getting upset about something to do with football:



I still have yet to actually watch Downfall, which I blame on my fear that I will be unable to take it seriously at all. That being said, after I looked up pretty much all of the names and events referenced in this dub, it's actually pretty funny.

Oops, I mean...uh...football and boobs and beer! Yay college! Go Amurricuh!

-Dave

More-Famous Friday: Let's Never Eat at McDonald's Again

This is why McDonald's makes food (crappy food, granted) rather than television:


Whoops, that's your commercial McDonald's. You are unpleasant and way too late on the whole viral marketing bandwagon. And what do the rich old shareholders think?



Everybody is wrong but me.

-Dave

Sometimes the News is Too Perfect

We here at The Sandwich Collective try to teach people the ways of peace and e-mockery, and so cannot condone the violent assault by sandwich that occurred in Illinois earlier today.

Basically the whole tiny article:

About 5:20 a.m., a man...was upset his McGriddle sandwich didn't have an egg in it, the victim told police. She told the man she would correct the sandwich, but he became irate when the driver of the vehicle behind him honked at him to move.

The man then threw the hot, greasy sandwich at the 38-year-old employee's face.

I would like to add that we don't forget the eggs on this blog. Bow down to the Pope of the Church of Metaphors.

-Dave

A Very Intellectual Post

So I'm tired from being on trains all day and I'm watching Clerks on TV right now. My mind is destroyed, and I need a simple video of someone getting hurt to laugh at today. Here it is:



Welcome to The Intellect Collective. Tomorrow's post: the psychoanalysis of everyone's favorite trampoline accidents.

-Dave

More-Famous Friday: This Blog Will Start a Catch Phrase Eventually

Since deafening hasn't really caught on, maybe I'll just steal the phrase "It gooed me" from this video:



Come on guys, start spreading this meme. Don't goo me!

Trains all tomorrow if this nice weather holds, and then a week of partying at home for spring break. Partying=video games and sleeping in late. Woohoo!

-Dave

The Formation of a Blog Alliance

Why is this video so popular? It is not funny at all. In other words, expect it to be forwarded to you over 9000 times in the next few days.



Videogum called it, we need to end fake rap now. That is why I am officially endorsing the petition to end fake rap. Check it if you think I'm lying, I'm signature 110. That's like half of the internet.

-Dave

Some People Have a Problem with Physics

And they express it with funny pictures:



-Dave

This is One of Those Filler Videos

Lots of people have already watched and re-posted this video, but I just have nothing better to say today:



Oh yeah, except that kids only really play video games for reason number 2on this list. And even then, that's a really small minority of overly intellectual people.

Clearly the article was written by an old guy. Why don't parents, heaven forbid, talk to their own children about it rather than read this stupid irrelevant article written by an outsider looking in? Wow. I just got my doctorate in Sociology.

-Dave

School Beckons

This blog has become a lonely place recently, but I assure you that I shall once again inhabit the island of Blogai'i once I'm done with the stupid Bio test tomorrow. They don't allow biology on the island because it's a sin.

I now leave you with the Lagrangian of the Standard Model (after electroweak symmetry breaking, with no explicit Higgs boson of course):


My goodness this is a smart blog. Normal coverage of weird fish and my ignorance of popular culture will resume shortly.

-Dave

Solitaire Ruined my Day

I know I could've pulled down a black King from above to help, but it just seemed too perfect. I suck.



Actually, that's a decent summary of my day other than the part where I played DEAD SPACE! LOL! Piracy sucks.

-Dave