Captain's Log, Stardate: WTF

Hello class, I trust you all enjoyed the break. Now it is time to get some serious learning done. Today we will be discussing 4 very important things which I was only taught Saturday.

Lesson 1: Working for Amtrak is less stressful than running a summer fitness camp.

While I know most of you were under the impression that running a summer fitness camp is less stressful than working for Amtrak (and who wouldn't be?), this is not the case according to the stewardess (conductress? I dunno what the people on trains are called.) on one of my trains. She discussed in detail how the fitness camp had taken away all of her personal time and then went on to explain how much fun it was to travel around on trains. I'm sure you all heard her lecture, though, and I would hope that you will all go out and buy her book Choo Choo: How I Escaped Stress and Found Inner Peace. Your oral reports will be due at the end of the semester.

Lesson 2: Saturday was Brittany's birthday.

Of course we all knew the Brittany was turning () years old on Saturday, but the crazy guy at Penn Station in New York singing it repeatedly into his microphone attached to a mini-amp didn't hurt either. Brittany, we offer our congratulations and hope that the crazy guy's song made up for the lack of gifts and cake.

Lesson 3: Some Russians are very soulful.

My taxi driver back to campus was named Ivan, and man did Ivan love to sing R & B music. He tuned in (I'm 107 years old, I know) to the R & B station, cranked the volume, and sang throughout the whole trip. Normally I would make fun of something this absurd, but he was actually really good and, I'm not gonna lie, I was tapping my foot towards the end. I wanted to share one song with you that he particularly enjoyed (please, imagine a Russian man singing along; it adds to the experience).


Lesson 4: Moose Vader Roolz

This was brought to my attention by some graffiti I saw while leaving Philadelphia, and I'm not sure it requires any further explanation. Moose Vader, who apparently has a Facebook page here, does indeed rool.



-Dave

Trains, Trains, and Automotrains

I was on a train for over 9 hours today. First I went to Penn Station in New York City, and it was awesome. For 10 minutes I just sat there and listened to one ticket agent yelling at another ticket agent for yelling. He ended by saying, "Either get a megaphone, or shut up" and walked away looking quite upset. Whoops, it's a closed building and people are depending on the loudspeaker announcements to find the correct track. But yeah, that loud ticket lady probably needs a megaphone. Welcome to New York City. Kill yourself as soon as possible. Seriously, though, I loved being around the large crowds of people and the hustle/bustle.

The rest of the trip was spent in a weird half-awake half-asleep stupor listening to music. Now I'm sitting here at home. As far as I can tell, the only thing that's changed since my leaving is the addition of some shelves in the basement. Man, time has a way of changing things. Like shelves. Please plot shelves as a function of time and have your papers ready for me on Monday.

Oh yeah, and people who haven't seen me in 3 months say I appear to have lost weight. That's right, I'm losing weight. All the weight.

-Dave