Two Reasons My Job Rules

So here's the thing, guys, I got a job last Monday. I can't say where for legal reasons, but I can tell you that it rhymes with Blome Jeepo and is The Home Depot (my blog fought the law, and the law won). It is so ridiculous that you don't even know how ridiculous it is. These two things both happened today:

1. I stood still for two hours holding a lawnmower running in order to burn off the gas that was in it when it was returned. Because of course that is what I get paid to do.

2. Two people got in an argument over whether or not we sold pickle plants. One gentleman said that we sold them and the other disagreed. After both men called each other bastards, I got to settle the argument by saying that we sold cucumber plants and both men left feeling that they had won.

Economic crisis? Shmecomomic drysis (nailed that pun!).

-Dave