Tuesday, May 26, 2009

There's Something About Terminator: Salvation

I went to see this movie over the weekend and felt a great wave of MEH. Yeah, an all caps "meh". Let's rap:

1. Enough with the Jeebus references, McG. I'm not a baby, and so just one instance of Marcus Wright being place in a pseudo-crucifixion pose was quite enough of that. Actually, come to think of it, this is a Terminator movie and so zero references to Jeebus would have been fine.

2. OH MY GOD! YOU ARE THE RESISTANCE! AHHHHHH! It might have just been the theater I saw this movie in (whoops, I paid money for this, I know), but why was everything so loud? Even BatmanJohn Connor whispering into a radio was almost unbearably loud.

3. I want more motorcycle guys!

4. Two things broke the realism for me: holy crap, Kyle Reese is an Olympic marksman with every gun, and John Connor got stabbed in the heart but then instantly recovered; and then proceeded to detonate a nuke from a helicopter that was STILL OVER THE NUKE. Whoops, didn't mean to school you in nukes, but I went to Nuke Academy and got my PhD. in NuclearNookyuler Booms.

It was decently fun to see, but seriously don't spend money on this movie as long as this audio is available for free online:



This movie needed more of this happening and less of animatronic Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, pretty much anything would be better with less animatronic Governator.

-Dave

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