"Crank 2" Is An Epic of Sleazy Failurism

So, while I have yet to see the masterpiece-candidate Crank 2, I have already weighed in on it. Apparently some people have now fallen for the same stupid excuse that Snakes on a Plane used to redeem itself; yes, I'm looking at you, io9.

Just as Snacks on a Plane was a terrible movie, Crank 2 is terrible. I haven't seen it, you haven't seen it, let's just agree to agree that it's terrible. What Crank 2 is not, however, is an ironic meta-comedy commentary on the ridiculous nature of action films today. No meta-commentary, Crank 2, not yours.

So imagine my surprise when I started reading reviews that touted it as such. For instance, you can read io9's full review here. Get it right, internet! Snakes on a Plane was just a terrible movie and so is Crank 2 (and Crank 1, for that matter). If you want a cheek-in-tongue action movie, shut your stupid faces and go see Shoot 'Em Up and enjoy that like I did, veggie deaths and all.

-Dave