I'm Not Dead, Not Yet

Hello all you little minions of the internet, it is me, Atticus, coming back from the dead to tell you hi. And for you to stop raping my girlfriend, who is also dead. Super cereal, you are just as much as an inconvenience as having Johnny Depp following you around repeating everything you say in a pirate accent. But that's off topic - I have come here to bring you misery and hatred. Do you remember that terrible, but addicting song by The Police - "Message in a Bottle?" If not, you do now. Ironically, someone actually put a message in a bottle and sent it down the river. Here is the link to the actual story.

Sappy. I know.

This story, I care not for. Rather, I care for the comments made by Farkers. Especially this one by a certain CrazyCurt:

"Grrr. The USPS. Grrr.

I have been expecting a letter for a week. It should be here. Days ago it should have been here. It's not here. Three things could've happened.

1) one of the various postal delivery persons ( they change almost daily ) probably put the letter in the middle of a giant wad of junk mail and I never saw it. See, the mailboxes at this complex are the ancient, upright little metal lid boxes about 1.5 feet high and maybe 4 inches wide. There is no room to put the gigantic log of advertising inserts anywhere, so the delivery folks crunch it into a wad -- after putting important letters in the middle of said wad. Seen this many times.

2) Letter got delivered to wrong apartment, again. For some reason some of the delivery personel can't differentiate between, say, the letters J and R. It's like they can't read or speak English. Oh, wait ... nevermind, most are Latino or Asian, they probably can't. If delivered to some of my neighbors by mistake, as has also happened before like the previous example, letters gone, it had money in it, and these low-lifes around here open other peoples' misdelivered mail.

3) Lost by the postal service. Every year one or two letters sent to me vanish. Simply vanish. Usually it's cards with a little cash in them. Funny how that works, isn't it? So if you Farkers want to send someone a birthday or christmas card with some dough in it, forget it. Postal employees look for those and some have been known to make a quick buck. Or the letter fell out of a basket or box or cart. Once I was waiting on a letter for two weeks. It finally came, but had been ripped and had tire marks and dirt all over the envelope. I wondered if they had taken the mail to an offroad 4-wheelin' event.

No more of this crap. I am using online services from now on. You can't trust the USPS, as too many hands are involved with one delivery, and some of those hands may be operated by a corrupt criminal, illiterate immigrant or plain clumbsy dunderhead.

/ and there is word they are merging with FedEx. Holy crap that is really bad news."

First off, does your life suck that much that you feel the need to spill your life story to people who will take what you say and destroy for their own gain? Apparently. Another thing, if you don't like the postal system, you are not alone, but seriously, you just suck. And as always, thank you CrazyCurt for bringing us the news of why you are you and why no one cares about your complaints with the postal system.

In other news, I'm almost out for summer (yay) but I have 8 exams/finals to go through in the next three weeks before that actually comes (boo!). In all honesty, life is like CrazyCurt and the postal system, pick the wrong mailcarrier and you are screwed. Or not.

-Atticus