Nobody Puts Most of the Internet in a Corner

Whoops, a lot of the internet sucks. I've been looking for a good web series to start following for quite a while now, and still have had no luck. Suggestions?

Anyhow, this post is about bigger problems we've been having. I think you know what I mean. It's the crunk professors. I know, the professors here are way too crunk for me to believe that they earned their PhD.s in anything other than "Yayuh Studies". A quick run-down of instances of HCC (That's High Crunkitude on Campus, for the uninformed. Isn't it cute how I unnecessarily abbreviate things and then have to explain the meaning of the acronym? Don't worry, college couldn't possibly last that long):

Calculus, Monday morning-"guruntee". Honestly, I don't even remember the context here, but it stuck out enough to me that I made a note of it on the top of the page of my notebook. Granted, the Calculus professor is not a native English speaker (...or in the math department for that matter, Computer Science professors teaching Calculus ftw!), but this seemed to go beyond the bounds of her normal Russian interpretation of English words. She also says "arbitrarily" with the rhythm used in pronunciation of the word "habitually". Verdict: crunk.

Physics, Thursday morning-"differuntial". I do know the context of this word because I actually wrote it down, but it would take way too long to explain. Suffice to say that physics is the most ridiculous thing ever. I need to scan a page of my notes sometime. Professor does speak English as his first language, but it seems that his attempt at quickly talking through a problem turned fatal (linguistically fatal...Linguistic CSI starring John Leguizamo). Verdict: crunk.

American Politics, Thursday afternoon-"scurred". This was perhaps the most shocking adventure in the Crunk Forest, as the professor for this class is normally so well-spoken. For some reason, he always leaves his laptop volume on max right before class starts, sets it up to output video through the projector and sound through an external speaker, and then boots it up. Without fail, this leads to a face-meltingly loud concert of the 3 second Windows Vista boot theme song. Normally at this point, he mutes it. On this fateful day, however, technology had other plans. He turned the volume down from 50 to 30. I remember thinking at the time "Why did he hold down the volume button for that long instead of just hitting mute once?" If only I had known. He started class normally and then went to the his office for a pen. Then Skype initiated. JESUS was it loud. He ran into the room and slammed his hand down on the mute button at this point and said "Oh my God, I'm sorry. That scurred me from the other room." After some graduate students peered in to make sure a Skype bomb (Because it sounds like pipe bomb. No? Fine.) hadn't gone off. Needless to say, it had not. Verdict: crunk.

I am just waiting for the Chemistry-crunk connection to emerge.

Crunk is the new Illuminati.

-Dave